arrow 2010 columns
  arrow 2009 columns
  arrow 2008 columns
  arrow 2006 columns
  arrow 2005 columns
  Back to Home
   
arrow 12/29/07 - The gift card shuffle
arrow 12/22/07 - Tracking the mild coyote
arrow 12/15/07 - Knocked up but not out
arrow 12/08/07 - Save the world: stay married
arrow 12/01/07 - The Red Cross' latest emergency
arrow 11/24/07 - No more reading the readers
arrow 11/17/07 - Pictures imperfect
arrow 11/10/07 - Shelter Mag Blues
arrow 11/03/07 - The Tao of Blowhards
arrow 10/27/07 - Cliche and cataclysm
arrow 10/20/07 - The Porn Age's unsexiness
arrow 10/13/07 - Art as child's play
arrow 10/06/07 - Did 9/11 kill feminism?
arrow 09/29/07 - Everyone's a 'genius'
arrow 09/22/07 - Live and let live -- nah . . .
arrow 09/15/07 - Should kids be seen?
arrow 09/08/07 - Defending Jerry Lewis
arrow 09/01/07 - Our wonder of Wonder Bread
arrow 08/25/07 - American Apparel's ick
arrow 08/18/07 - Death by numbers
arrow 08/11/07 - When Hillary met Robert
arrow 08/04/07 - The case for conspiracies
arrow 07/28/07 - A) Do you love polls, or b) are you weird?
arrow 07/21/07 - Good ... and smug
arrow 07/14/07 - The little black dress of 'responsibility'
arrow 07/07/07 - Little voices of distraction
arrow 06/30/07 - Who killed Antioch? Womyn
arrow 06/23/07 - 40-love, or 20-love?
arrow 06/16/07 - Our blond obsession, from Di to Paris
arrow 06/09/07 - Down the aisle and over the top
arrow 06/02/07 - Dr. Death, American icon
arrow 05/26/07 - Curse of the normal
arrow 05/19/07 - Without smoking, films lose some fire
arrow 05/12/07 - Palm Tuesday
arrow 05/05/07 - Write free and get locked up
arrow 04/28/07 - Does getting him a beer count as work?
arrow 04/21/07 - Try this wrinkle: Grow up
arrow 04/14/07 - NBC flop could be a hit -- on HBO
arrow 04/09/07 - Why doesn't Harvard love me?
arrow 04/02/07 - Attack of the Killer Memoir
arrow 03/26/07 - Dreaming your dream house
arrow 03/19/07 - Documentaries or propaganda?
arrow 03/12/07 - Sleep at your own risk
arrow 03/03/07 - What a card!
arrow 02/24/07 - Echo Park in Mexico
arrow 02/17/07 - Fame-iness
arrow 02/10/07 - I'm with Cupid
arrow 02/03/07 - What Hillary's humor reveals
arrow 01/27/07 - Doggy gentrification
arrow 01/20/07 - Wanna be happy? Expect the worst
arrow 01/13/07 - Adam Carolla's genius -- spoiled
arrow 01/06/07 - The books that read women
 
     
Try this wrinkle: Grow up
Botox rolls back the clock, but do you want to go there?
April 21, 2007

I'M AS SHOCKED as anyone by this, but apparently Botox and other cosmetic procedures designed to "refresh" the face are now a liability in Hollywood. The Wall Street Journal reported recently that many well-known actresses are possessed of such an improbable age-to-smooth-skin ratio that television studios are actually looking to other countries, such as Britain and Canada, when casting for roles that don't necessarily require a 16-year-old look. With the advent of high-definition television, the scars that result from cosmetic surgery can be distractingly noticeable. There's also the matter of not being able to register surprise or many other emotions when your facial muscles have been Botoxed into a slab of granite.

It's hard to talk about the Botox craze without descending into empty cliches about the tyranny of a youth-obsessed culture. I'll admit that there's something a little medieval about injecting "botulinum toxin" into our faces because we live in a world where anyone older than 35 is considered medieval. But I also believe in accepting life on life's terms. So if yours involves equating wrinkles with inoperable tumors — and you happen to have a lot of disposable cash — one way to be a responsible citizen is to erase the damage by using a syringe.
I've never had Botox myself, though a facialist once told me that, if I continued my habit of raising my eyebrows in wry amusement, I'd "have no choice" but to submit to the needle. Obviously this was alarming, not only because my career is pretty much based on raising my eyebrows in amusement but because I've always secretly looked forward to getting wrinkles. Not serious wrinkles, mind you. I'm talking more about the kind that make me seem mature without looking old, the kind that suggest I don't yet need a life insurance policy but still discourage people from patting me on the head and saying things like "good for you, at your age!" I want wrinkles-in-training, an at-a-glance indicator that I remember Pac-Man and the Anita Hill hearings but not Watergate and Pong.
My big problem with Botox and other anti-aging procedures is not that they're shallow, or that their corollary is that too many of the moms on TV are played by actresses already so young you'd think every kid on a sitcom was the result of a teen pregnancy. It's that all of it has succeeded in extending the self-consciousness of youth into middle age, effectively undermining our ability to come to terms with our looks and concentrate on more pressing matters (for instance, foreign policy or, barring that, our lower backs). Because we're so versed in what a drag it is getting old, we seem to have developed a collective amnesia about the chaos, humiliations and downright stupidity that comes with being young.
Sure, our faces might look great when we're 25, but what about the entry-level jobs, the revolving roommates, the relationships founded entirely upon takeout Indian food and mediocre sex? (These are all hypotheticals, honest.) Though you wouldn't know it from watching "Friends," being in your 20s isn't all it's cracked up to be. As nice as it is to have your whole life ahead of you, it's somewhat less nice to be broke, condescended to and confused about everything from career choices to personal style.
Maybe I was dopier than most (though judging from some of my roommates, I think not), but I spent much of my 20s changing my persona approximately every six months. I'd go from corporate drone to starving artist, hipster to hippie, demure schoolgirl to strident, sarcastic loudmouth. It was exhausting and pathetic. You couldn't pay me to go through it again.
I realize that the idea behind getting Botox is to preserve our original selves, but anyone who's honest about the whole enterprise knows that the altered face is less "preserved" than it is brand new.
And that's why there's something so drearily adolescent about the whole thing. Just when many of us are finally starting to know ourselves as adults, we're expected to start shape shifting again. Like the teenager who walks into a vintage clothing store and suddenly decides to trade all her Gap clothes for Betty Boop dresses (again, a hypothetical), we get pushed by the easy availability of this youth-preserving technology to second-guess ourselves and spend time and money deciding what we should look like.
At 16, that's healthy (if cringe-inducing later on.) At 40, it's a sacrifice of our God-given right to let nature take its course so we can get on to more interesting things. Even if we're ready to look our age, it's pretty clear that, in a lot of walks of life, we're not allowed to.
As for my coveted wrinkles-in-training, an unfortunate brush recently with a magnifying mirror suggested they're already here. So if I turn up playing someone's grandma on "Desperate Housewives," don't say I didn't warn you.
© Copyright 2007 Los Angeles Times
 
© 2010, Meghan Daum
 
Meghan Daum Quality of Life Report